Trials and Tribulations of the 3rd Trimester
FEBRUARY 2021
Here we are, half way through our third trimester of what feels like the longest pregnancy on this planet. The time to calm down, “nest”, relax, prepare for this baby and be selfish with our time. Everyone on Instagram in their 3rd trimester appear to be glowing, showing off their perfect nursery’s, out for coffees - feeling happy and positive about whats to come. Are we doing exactly this? Absolutely not, and I’m almost positive 90% of you don’t do this either!
Our 3rd trimester started with clearing out my grandmother’s home (which was emotional enough without being pregnant), watching it get sold, packing up our lives into boxes and moving into our temporary home while we build our forever home. We did this all while Luke works 11 hour days then we would both work in the office till 11pm… in the middle of summer in FNQ. We’ve been at the hospital as much as possible with Luke’s mum (who is now doing amazing), Luke would spend any extra time he had clearing our block of land, we’ve got a degree in assembling flat-pack furniture for our home and nursery, and our fur baby Tilly then had to get minor surgery!
It was a tough few weeks, but we did it. If The Block had taught us anything, it’s that if there’s a will, there’s a way - just keep your head down and get it done. On top of this, the pregnancy symptoms that were meant to be well and truly gone by now, decided to creep back. Nausea, exhaustion, aches and pains, acne…. you little ripper! I would wake up and cry for absolutely no reason. I would sit on the couch at night and just wail while Luke would try his hardest to counsel me and work out what was going on. It was almost definitely hormones, but I started to have negative thoughts and feelings overcome me.
“I am a wife, I am going to be a mum, I am Tess, but who the hell is Tess?”
I started to feel that during my entire pregnancy (which I haven’t loved), I have lost myself. I’m not too sure who I am anymore. I am a wife, I am going to be a mum, I am Tess, but who the hell is Tess? I know what is in store for me over the next few months. I know my body is still not going to be mine for quite some time, but my god I can’t wait to sleep on my back and throw down a nice glass of red. I know that I’m going to be someone’s food source, constant comfort, and carer and I know how much of a gift that is. How precious that I am going to have a little soul depend on me, love me and want me. The issue is, that I know I won’t know who I am for a while. I’m not going to be that loud, confident girl who is dancing inappropriately at baby showers and drinking more than my body weight in champagne. I’m going to be a mum and how the hell do I mesh those two lives together? How am I going to navigate my way through this one? I know for a fact, every single mother out there feels this way too. Some women dream of being a mum and are quite happy to commit their time to being at home with the kids, while some women yearn to go back to work as soon as possible. What If I’m in-between the both and I don’t really know what I want? This has been a thought going through my head for a while now, and could very well be the reason why I have been so emotional. I know when we meet this baby, these feelings could disappear, but maybe they will intensify? I feel guilty sometimes that I haven’t enjoyed being pregnant and then I have awful thoughts that maybe I won’t be a good mum. I know I’m not alone here, so if you are in the same boat as me… just know we are in this together.
A night which should have been all about happiness, love and laughter was instead about me and why I couldn’t stop crying.
We weren’t going to have a Baby Shower because we honestly thought we had left it too late, but we are so glad we did it. The night before the baby shower, my sister flew in to spend some time with me and celebrate baby Struber. A night which should have been all about happiness, love and laughter was instead about me and why I couldn’t stop crying. The morning of our baby shower, the crying started again. Luke took Tilly and I down to the beach and we had a coffee and just watched the ocean. We talked about all the things in life we were grateful for, and what we are looking forward to - and we started to make plans. I went home, laid in the air-con and had my makeup done for the baby shower. This was the first time I felt “beautiful” this entire pregnancy. My spirits were lifting, my face was on point, I had a gorgeous dress on and I was surrounded by so much love. It was the first weekend that we concentrated on baby Struber and celebrated each other and the impending arrival of our little love.
Our baby shower was magical. Gone are the days that a shower is just limited to a ladies high tea and baby games. You can make your shower whatever you want it to be. We had a get-together of 50 of our closest friends and family, food and drinks and lots of laughter and chatter. We were showered with so much love, support, generous gifts and reassurance. This baby shower has completely changed the course of what the next 6 weeks will bring. I am feeling so much more positive, focused, excited and ready. Our baby is so loved by so many people and we know how lucky we are to be surrounded by love. I think this entire pregnancy has been consumed by the hecticness of general life that I haven’t been able to take it all in. From this point on, its Luke, Tilly, Me and Baby Struber and that’s it. I am making a conscious effort to say no to things I don’t want to do, start to cut back on work, not stress about things out of our control and make our growing family my number one priority.
6 weeks to go xx
