My Struggle With Pregnancy Acne
Disclaimer – I am not a superficial person, I have never been concerned about what other people thought of me and how I looked. Throughout my skin journey this changed, and I had no control over how I was feeling or acting. Hormones make you feel crazy and I now have a huge respect for those who have struggled with real skin problems for years. The photos I have to share of my skin are not even at its absolute worse. On reflection I wish I took more to share, but at the time I felt like it was never going to get better and I couldn’t even bear to have photos of it in my phone.
I’ve never had skin issues. Never. Not through high school or in my twenties, however I had been on the pill since I was 16. I took my clear skin for granted and never realised how lucky I really was. I decided to go off the pill in December 2019, in preparation to start a family and get my body used to being off it. For a few months I noticed little to no change and then all of a sudden around 3-4 months later, my skin erupted… well at least I thought It had.
I started to get pimples on my forehead and cheeks. Being the overly-dramatic person that I am, I didn’t handle it too well and almost welcomed the fact that we were in lock-down and no one could see me. By no means was it acne, but for me it was a huge change. I got onto a great skin regiment and over time by body adjusted to the hormone change and it settled – phew!
In July, we got pregnant and the side-affects started almost immediately. The exhaustion, the nausea and the aches and pains. Around week 7 of my pregnancy, I woke up one day and my skin didn’t even look my own skin anymore. It was acne. It was along my jawline, nose, cheeks and forehead. They were angry and they had taken up permanent residence on my face. I knew that it was hormonal and there wasn’t a lot I could do, other than stick to my skin regiment, eat healthy (which is almost impossible while nauseous) and not wear makeup. Everyone kept telling me, “don’t worry darl, that second trimester you will glow and feel so much better”, so the countdown to 12 weeks was on.
Not to sound OTT, but I would lay on the couch, WAILING and screaming “ONE AND DONE”
12 weeks rolled around and naively I jumped out of bed and rushed to the mirror – wow what a disappointment that was. This is when my emotions got the best of me and I turned into a pregnant, emotional monster. Not to sound OTT, but I would lay on the couch, WAILING and screaming “ONE AND DONE”. I would be very selective about who would see me, I would look in the mirror and start crying, I would make sure if I was to ever use Snapchat or do a story on Instagram that the phone wasn’t facing me and I would purposely have the phone facing away from my face just in case I caught a glimpse of myself. I couldn’t even bear to look at me. Poor Luke was trying so hard to make me understand he thought I was beautiful and he would tell me again and again how grateful he was that I was growing this healthy baby for us. He would be reduced to tears watching me be broken into pieces about how I looked, but he never once gave up on me. For that my love, I am so grateful.
Mum guilt is a real thing and I was already experiencing it while being pregnant.
If I wasn’t feeling sad about my skin, I was then feeling guilty for being sad. I know how lucky and blessed I am to 1) fall pregnant and 2) have a healthy baby but I couldn’t shake the sadness. Mum guilt is a real thing and I was already experiencing it while being pregnant. Around 16 weeks we had our photo shoot for Stellar Magazine to announce our pregnancy. I woke up that morning, looked in the mirror and called Jodie, our manager to beg her to cancel the shoot. I was an emotional wreck to the point where I couldn’t even speak properly on the phone. I had never felt so down about myself, I had never felt so insecure and I had never wanted to look like anyone else but me before in my life. She was incredible and understanding and the management from Stellar assured me that the team on site for the shoot would make me feel amazing and they would never put an image in their magazine that I wasn’t happy or confident with. So, we went ahead and did it. I am so glad we did the shoot. Those photos I will cherish for the rest of my life.
My skin on the day of our Stellar shoot
To think that my skin really looked like this on the day of the shoot blows my mind. Please note that I asked them to photo-shop the hell out of my face. In these photos we look so happy and excited, which of course we are, but deep down I had this pit in my stomach that would bring me to tears every few hours. I was so upset, that I booked a weekend to Brisbane to be with my sister and niece. We sat in the house for 4 days and my sister let me just be me. My face was at its worst at this point but I felt so comfortable with them and in their home. I was anxious at the airport that someone would look at me, but I wore a mask which covered most of the breakouts.
I was spending hundreds of dollars on face products and facials and nothing was helping
I had to change something, this wasn’t healthy for me and this wasn’t healthy for the baby. I would spend hours each night scrolling on my phone, researching what type of acne I could possibly have as it seemed to be a combination of cystic, hormonal and fungal. I was spending hundreds of dollars on face products and facials and nothing was helping. Maybe it was all too much? I had to reel it in and start all over. This is what I did:
Changed our pillow cases every 2 nights.
Used a new towel every night to dry (dab) my face.
Stopped using my products as it wasn’t improving my skin – may have been too active.
Went and saw a Naturopath and started a course of zinc, magnesium and pro-biotics.
Saw my doctor to talk about my mental health.
Stopped all facials
Started using a very basic cleanser and moisturiser ONLY. Nothing else was to touch my face. No fancy products or masks (I am happy to share the products with you, just message me).
Stopped drinking my 3L of water a day and reduced it to 1.5L (doctors suggestion).
Started walking every morning again for my mental health.
I started using Head & Shoulders on my face once a week in the shower to treat the small bumps all over my forehead which I suspected was fungal acne and it worked.
At around 19/20 weeks pregnant, things started to change. Yes, it could be the hormones, or it could be my routine that changed it all. Each day I would wake up and my scaring would be less red, the pimples would be less angry and my forehead would have less bumps. Each morning I would wake up, run to the mirror and be less disappointed. I was slowly starting to feel like me. I was smiling more, laughing more and enjoying the pregnancy more and more each day.
This is just who I am. I am someone who gets acne when pregnant, like millions of other women in the world
To say my skin is clear, would be a lie. I still have breakouts but they are minor in comparison to what I was getting. Makeup can cover them but to be honest, I feel confident enough to not have to cover it. I’m strict with my skin regiment and my bucket-load of vitamins I take each day are never missed. This is just who I am. I am someone who gets acne when pregnant, like millions of other women in the world. Some women get pigmentation or dermatitis. Some women are throwing up their entire pregnancy, even on the surgery table while having their c-section. Some women are hospitalised, some women get depression. I guess the point of this is that I am not the only one in the world that has had to deal with bad skin, and I definitely have not had it the worst, but I hope that women are more open about their battles and not just showing the glamour of it all on Instagram with the token photo in their arch mirror in the perfect nursery with their perfect glow. Pregnancy is hard, and we all have a story – so maybe share yours because it could help a sister out.
xx
